JTBS

The 7000-year tradition of tantra prohibits the sale of any instruction connected with yoga, and I uphold that tradition. So, to make ends meet - and maybe to become rich along the way - I have long contemplated the establishment of a new Church.

The Church is called Just To Be Sure (JTBS). It is similar to the Seventh Day Adventist Church in that it distinguishes itself by its interpretation of the Sabbath. Let me explain.

In all of the three Semitic religions, the Ten Commandments is a common thread. All three Semitic religions accept the principle: "Keep the sabbath day to sanctify it, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee." [Deut. 5:12, KJV] But all three Semitic religions celebrate the Sabbath on a different day. The Muslims celebrate it on Friday. The Jews celebrate it on Saturday. And most Christians celebrate it on Sunday.

Our new religion says that, given the different interpretations, we cannot be sure which day is correct. We may believe that Friday or Saturday or Sunday is the real Sabbath day, but we cannot know it. Perhaps, originally the Sabbath was celebrated on Saturday, but later God changed it to Sunday, and later still to Friday. Or perhaps, God changed the Sabbath day to Sunday, and the change to Friday was not valid. Or perhaps neither of the changes was valid, and it always remained Saturday.

So "just to be sure" - just to be sure that we actually are "keeping the Sabbath day and sanctifying it" - JTBS observes a compulsory 3-day Sabbath (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday).

All members of our new Church are free to determine the degree of strictness with which they will observe the Sabbath, but they would be prohibited from salaried work on those three days. All members of our new Church are free to practice whatever Semitic religious preferences they may have (Jewish, Christian, or Muslim) or even any pagan preferences. All members of our new Church may be orthodox, conservative, or reformed in their outlook. In the JTBS priesthood, we will accept women and men, blacks and browns and yellows and whites, straights and gays. If any dogs or cats or other animals can pay for the course and pass our very easy exam, they may also become priests.

The only universal requirement of our Church is a three-day weekend, consistent with our three-day Sabbath. In other words, on religious grounds, our members will only be allowed to have a four-day workweek.

Depending on the JTBS denomination to which one belongs, members may be restricted in other ways. For example, one or more denominations of JTBS might prohibit military service. Other denominations of JTBS might insist on a special diet from kosher to low sodium to Asian vegetarian. JTBS embraces the full range of possibilities in the Judaeo-Christian-Islamic tradition. And JTBS will also do a fair amount of scriptural reinterpretation on its own account.

For example, one of the first revisions you may expect to see implemented is a revelation regarding tithing. Heretofore, tithing was taken to mean the donation of 10% of one's income to the Church. But in JTBS, tithing will be only 3% of one's income. In this way, we hope to corner the market of blind believers at this time of great economic insecurity. And, speaking of the economy, one immediate benefit of JTBS will be to increase employment figures by reducing the number of hours that people may work.

That is JTBS in a nutshell. Converts are welcome.

A Personal Letter To Julian Assange

Pardon me for yawning; but come on, Julian, where is the good stuff? I mean, the junk you are putting out with your WikiLeaks - it's so ordinary. Who doesn't expect governments to engage in backroom dealing, backstabbing, and - heck - even some spying. But where is the nitty gritty about how the US Government was behind the Twin Towers - how they blew up one of the buildings with planted explosives - and what about the second gunman on the grassy knoll? Get with it, dude. Thus far your gospel is just god-awful. Snore.